I have learned many important lessons in my life over the past 30 years, but
nothing has impacted me more than the people I surround myself with every day.
Whether local or remote, I am learning the importance of true friendship and
true love and making sure that I give effort to relationships that are
making the effort for me.
I used to believe that the larger your inner circle, the happier you will be. For
some people this is how they measure happiness. For me, I would rather have a
smaller inner circle that genuinely cares deeply for me, than a larger circle
that is just "playing the role."
I have also begun to change my mindset on how I view myself based solely on how
"I" view myself. While others opinions are important and matter to some extent,
I create my own destiny, my own thoughts and feelings... About everything.
Before I started my journey to get healthier and create a better me, I would
take things personally... And by that I mean ALL THE TIME! I would assume that
if someone was upset, I had done something to make them upset. If someone was
talking about me negatively, I would assume that they were doing it because
there was something wrong with me. Only recently have I really begun to
understand that what people say and do, is a projection of how they feel about
themselves. Oftentimes jealousy provokes people to talk poorly about one
another, and we then get upset and continue the negative talk. I decided that I
was done with this... Officially done! I was tired of assuming why people were
so negative. I was tired of letting their negative words and feelings poison me.
I was tired of contributing to this vicious cycle. I was tired of the
childishness that gossip feeds. I was tired of being a victim to others
insecurities. So I made a change in my mindset. And guess what? I have never
felt better.
What brought on this sudden change? (You ask intrigued... Or at least I hope you
do). I read a book that really changed how I view the world. Now I have to tell you, I'm not
one to read a lot since finishing school, but reading this book was the best
investment in my time, and it didn't even take long!!! My health coach decided
to start a personal development series for people interested in investing in
themselves and I jumped on without hesitation. We began a book called "The Four
Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and from the moment I started reading, I was
hooked. Everything he said was so simple, yet so true.
Out of the four agreements discussed (Be impeccable with your word, Don't take
anything personally, Don't make assumptions, and Always do your best) I found
"don't take anything personally" to be the one that hit home with me. They all
made a huge impact in some way on how I process things now, but I learned
something very important: “Even when a situation seems so personal, even if
others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.” I had selfishly been
making everything about me, feeling like I had to stand up for myself, or return
the favor by talking back, but in reality, it had nothing, absolutely nothing to
do with me.
What I take from this is to invest in the people that want healthy relationships
with others, not take anything personally and to be the best version of myself
every day. In doing so, I am able to escape from the negativity that often
clouds our minds and focus on the many blessings of my life. Negativity is an addiction, and I decided to stop feeding it. I am in no way "healed" completely of negative thoughts or
feelings (see "Tiffany's Road Rage" for my works in progress) but I know I am on the right path, and I FEEL better when I wake up, when I go throughout my daily duties and when I rest my head on my pillow at night. I feel good.
I recommend "The Four Agreements" to anyone and everyone that wants to improve
their life. It made a huge difference in my mindset, and I'm actually going to
be reading it again, to remind myself of the four ideals which set you up for a
happier, healthier you... Inside and out. I would love to hear your thoughts for those of your who have read it, or plan to :)
The darling heartbeat continues...
-Tiffany
I have also begun to change my mindset on how I view myself based solely on how
"I" view myself. While others opinions are important and matter to some extent,
I create my own destiny, my own thoughts and feelings... About everything.
Before I started my journey to get healthier and create a better me, I would
take things personally... And by that I mean ALL THE TIME! I would assume that
if someone was upset, I had done something to make them upset. If someone was
talking about me negatively, I would assume that they were doing it because
there was something wrong with me. Only recently have I really begun to
understand that what people say and do, is a projection of how they feel about
themselves. Oftentimes jealousy provokes people to talk poorly about one
another, and we then get upset and continue the negative talk. I decided that I
was done with this... Officially done! I was tired of assuming why people were
so negative. I was tired of letting their negative words and feelings poison me.
I was tired of contributing to this vicious cycle. I was tired of the
childishness that gossip feeds. I was tired of being a victim to others
insecurities. So I made a change in my mindset. And guess what? I have never
felt better.
What brought on this sudden change? (You ask intrigued... Or at least I hope you
do). I read a book that really changed how I view the world. Now I have to tell you, I'm not 
Out of the four agreements discussed (Be impeccable with your word, Don't take
anything personally, Don't make assumptions, and Always do your best) I found
"don't take anything personally" to be the one that hit home with me. They all
made a huge impact in some way on how I process things now, but I learned
something very important: “Even when a situation seems so personal, even if
others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.” I had selfishly been
making everything about me, feeling like I had to stand up for myself, or return
the favor by talking back, but in reality, it had nothing, absolutely nothing to
do with me. 
I think your evolution is both inspiring and enlightening. I look forward to reading the Four Agreements, as well, and thank you for sharing its insights with me and the world!
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