Tales of a Tired Mom

You know those moms that attempt to shop with two kids by themselves and they look like they just went to the gym, but you know darn well that didn't happen, they were just too lazy to get dressed in decent clothes? Or they are frantically trying to calm the newborn down with a pacifier while chasing the toddler down yelling "get back here young lady!!!" while pushing a cart full of diapers. Ummm yea, that's me. The last 5 months since welcoming Sydney into our world has been amazing, but I can honestly tell you that I have been in zombie mode for 99% of it. The other 1% is when I get 15 minutes to enjoy a bath every once and a while before my husband comes in and says "she needs the boob!" while he's holding a crying baby, or when my toddler strips herself down so she can join me for a dip in the tub (which of course turns into a bubble and toy filled event). I LOVE being a mom more than anything, but I don't think anything can prepare you for how much your life changes (for the good and interesting). Becoming a mother in 2012 was challenging, but being a mom of a toddler AND an infant has it's new and exciting challenges as well. Balancing making sure both kids are changed, fed, bathed, kept busy (without our toddler drawing all over the couches... Thank goodness for leather and washable markers) is something I tried to mentally prepare myself for, but never realized how fast my toddler could get into things she's not supposed to. It's safe to assume she has used every measuring cup as a boat for her Minnie Mouse figurines, and has managed to waste a whole crap-ton of baby wipes by using them as blankets for her stuffed animals. I find myself sitting on the couch nursing Sydney and watching my toddler terrorize the house and all I can tell myself is "well, at least she's staying busy and not in any danger" or sometimes I sum it up to "she's being creative with her surroundings and using her imagination." 

I have never realized how easy one child was until I had two. Especially when your toddler pees all over your bed RIGHT before bed too. Then refuses to put on a new diaper. I think I have about lost my mind 3 times today with Mackenzie when she wont let me put on a diaper. Can she just be potty trained already?!?!? BALANCE and PATIENCE are my goals for this year. It takes so much to be a good mom, but it all starts with those two things. Making sure I take care of myself so that I have the patience when the wheels fall off the rails with the family dynamics is so important. If I need to put makeup on once and a while to feel good (along with get a shower in daily) then I gotta find a way to make it happen. I can't be running around all ragged and crazy or else my patience as a mom is non existent. I give a major high five/ fist pump/ thumbs up/ to all the single moms who do this tough job every day and do it with such grace and love. Those are some real heros. I realized my hardest days/ nights are when my husband closes at work and doesn't get home until after 11pm. I depend on him so much to provide the balance our family needs and when he isn't there, I feel the gravitational pull going significantly in my direction and it can be extremely challenging sometimes. What I have learned is to stop, take a deep breath (or a few minutes) away from the situation before I become a boiling teapot, and then return to mom duties. I can't always fix everything immediately or in most cases get a diaper on a strong and fast running toddler, but I can control how I react to my toddler. I try to think about how she's only going to be this small and crazy for so long and how I should cherish this special time with her instead of let it frustrate me. 

All in all, being a mommy to these two beautiful, happy and loving girls is all I could ask for. Diaper changes and all 😘.

The darling heartbeat continues...